As you may or may not know I love to troll Pinterest for projects and ideas all of which I am bound to be terrible at and/or only complete halfway.
Why can’t you finish anything?
Why would I? There are naps to be taken and rooms not to clean and the internet’s not going to search itself. That’s why.
Continue reading “What the Fuck Is All Over Your Face: DIY Skincare”
How does that even happen?
Well, I’ll tell you.
Friday night, 11pm, 29 year-old female funeral director, a dead body needing removal, a snowstorm, a massive nursing home.
That’s about all you need. Now let’s get started:
Continue reading “Buried Alive: Getting Trapped INSIDE a Nursing Home”
You know when you’re in high school and you have your heart completely and totally ripped out by a teenage boy?
Great! Then you’re ready to be a stepmother-ish. You’ve already been hurt by a 16-year-old a-hole so you’re familiar with the process.
JUST KIDDING. Get ready for round 2 of teenage heartache. And this bitch packs an unforeseen emotional punch.
Saturday, 12:30pm.
I’ve been awake for a solid hour and a half — it’s only 12:30, stop judging — and I’m “folding” laundry. Most of which is made of a blend of synthetic materials that stretch regardless of my weight so folding it is more an act of creating balls of black fabric on the bed.
Insert: 45-lb insane cattle dog.
Continue reading “Dressing Your Very Bitey Dog in Lace Panties”
I’ve decided to embark on a new venture: Blogging. Now I know what you’re thinking: good god, why? Don’t you talk enough already? How could you possibly have anything worthwhile left to say?
SHUT UP.