Me: 30-something, female, kind of tall, above average intelligence, attractiveness, humor and vanity.

Haves: a husband, a dog, two cats, a house, a shitty stepson, a distaste for most things.

Wants: a cleaning lady, new yoga pants, a million dollars, wine for breakfast, etc., etc.

Hobbies: Biking, yoga, napping, blogging, dog-petting, cat-ignoring, not doing things, complaining, making up stories in my head about people I don’t like and occasionally sharing them as if they’re true (aka: starting rumors), meowing as a way to answer questions, general apathy, wine drinking, not following instructions, more napping.

Basically: If your dream life were to live in the crotch of luxury, I’d be living your dream.

To learn a bit more please read my post on Messing Shit Up, So You Don’t Have To.

Crotch. Of. Luxury.